Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

Roman Polanski – Director, Screenplay

Ira Levin - Novel

Mia Farrow

I have known my fair share of demon children. I have a little sister and more young cousins that I can frankly keep track of. However, when I say “demon children”, I mean more along the lines of, “Oh Jenny, you chose the minute I picked you up to puke on my new silk jacket. What a delight. What’s that? You wanted to draw and used all my new lipsticks and eyeliners to paint a seascape on my wall? Well, isn’t that creative. ” When Roman Polanski says “demon children”, he means “force-you-to-eat-raw-liver-and-hallucinate-sex-with-the-devil-from-inside-the-womb” evil.

Such is the case of his blissfully, yet dangerously naive protagonist (Farrow) in the quintessential horror film, Rosemary’s Baby. The film opens to a beautiful young couple as they embark on their new life together; searching for the perfect house to start a family in. When the ideal apartment suddenly becomes available, Guy and Rosemary Woodhouse find even more good fortune when they meet the gregarious and helpful older couple next door, Roman and Minnie Castevet (Ruth Gordon won an Oscar for her role.) Despite the mysterious death of a woman staying with them, the Castevets’ charm and warmth win them over. Meeting them seems practically fortuitous when Rosemary becomes pregnant;  they go out of their way to set her up with a brilliant and coveted surgeon completely gratis, prepare daily herbal drinks to aid her pregnancy, and even offer her a beautiful and exotic pendent for good luck. However, things quickly go awry when Rosemary’s friend who questions the Castevets’ motives suddenly falls gravely ill and Guy quickly, and adamantly, dismisses any and all of Rosemary’s growing suspicions. As the clues pile up, it becomes no longer a question of someone wanting to hurt the baby, but something wanting it for its own.

Watching this 1968 movie in 2011 is something of a mixed experience. Does is have the special effects, blood and gore of today’s horror movies that we are so accustomed to seeing? No. Is it starring a bunch of sexy teenagers and/ or a 30 million dollar monster destroying a town, city, etc? No. Is it utterly and completely disturbing and more suspenseful than you are at all comfortable with? Absolutely. What I love about earlier horrors movies is that they don’t have to rely on CGI special effects or gross-out makeup to scare the living daylights out of you. Perfectly placed creepy music, terrifying close-up shots of the protagonist as she realizes the horror of her situation, and long drawn out scenes, your heart pounding in your chest as you follow our ill fated heroine through twisting hallways, can have an even better effect.

Some of the best scenes and effects in Rosemary’s Baby may actually seem quite familiar to the close follower of horror films: childlike music over the opening credits to set the tone, dream sequences foreshadowing doom to come, and the embodiment of evil residing in the most innocuous of characters, in this case, a helpless old couple. If you are looking for a film that is going to feature lots of close-ups of a woman’s face half torn off or a horrific looking monster wandering around, this might not be for you. If however, you find yourself drawn to the more subtle, hidden terror (the early Amityville Horror, Orphan, The Omen) this is definitely one to add to your repertoire.

Don’t Be A Fool, Stay in School!

The other day I found myself in a dire situation that I haven’t experienced in years: I ran out of pens. After experimenting with crayons, Sharpies and the nub of a golf pencil that I found under the couch, I decided to bite the bullet and take myself to Staples (yea they got those.) Walking through the mechanical sliding doors and into the cool refreshing tingle of recycled air conditioning, I was met with a barrage of Back to School! items. It was at once a thrilling experience, conjuring up the smell of fresh pencils and the nervous excitement of a new school year, and a terror of “Oh God! The summer’s over! I have to get up early and do work for the next 9 months!” Whether you dreaded the approach of the Yellow Bus of Doom or was one of those rare breeds that truly enjoyed high school, that time of year is again upon us. Check out the Hollywood treatment of juvenile education and see if you relate….or not.

Clueless (1995): If you’re like me, then you took the majority of your fashion cues from this movie, boggling your mother as to why her 12 year old daughter had suddenly taken a shine to white knee high socks and furry backpacks (they were “totally faux!”) Alicia Silverstone stars as the quintessential blonde, vapid, Beverly Hills 16 year old looking for love in a sea of total Barneys. Spawning a thousand quotes and even more stars (hello, Paul Rudd, Britney Murphy, Donald Faison), Clueless stands as a smart yet completely shallow, classic but also utterly pop culture, romantic comedy about love but mostly just sex, or…. whatever.  Also See: Dazed and Confused, Can’t Hardly Wait

The Breakfast Club (1985): Turns out high school movies are cinematic gold when you take 5 different stereotypes (nerds, bad boys, prom queens, weirdoes, jocks) and toss them in a room together. What? The Bad Boy’s got a heart of gold? The perfect Prom Queen’s got a freaky streak? The Weird Girl from the wrong side of the tracks turns out to be gorgeous? I never would have guessed.  Talk about a blueprint for movies. Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall and Emilio Estevez star in the prototypical 80’s coming of age tale about love and friendship…in detention. Wish I had had sexy hookups in the janitor’s closet. Also see: Pretty In Pink, Ferris Buellers Day’s Off

She’s All That (1999): Honestly, it’s basically a crap movie. However, it pretty much sets the tone for every other movie about high school that was to come in the next decade. You’ve got 4-6 gorgeous 25 year olds playing 16 year olds. You’ve got a “high school” that looks better than many tropical resorts. You’ve got the party where “S*** Goes Down”.  And, of course, you have the great event that will change everything, the best moment in these people’s young lives, the moment when the strong will rise and crush the weak. Yes, friends, I’m talking about… The Prom. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wonder why your prom experience was more, holding your date’s water bottle of vodka while he pukes and dirty dancing in heinous taffeta and less, being crowned prom queen and landing the perfect man while befriending the odd girl. Also see: 10 Things I Hate About You, Mean Girls (stereotypical but at least aware of it), Never Been Kissed

Billy Madison (1995): Do I really need to even tell you to watch this? Basic premise: Billy Madison is the lazy son of a billionaire who must return to school and complete a grade every 2 weeks if he is to take over the family company. Mixed with “Hot For Teacher.” Even if you missed it when it first came out, you must have spotted it on a TBS rerun. Don’t have a TV? I’m sure you’ve heard someone (or everyone) quote it. Still not ringing any bells? It is now become more and more likely that you might have spent the past several decades trapped in an isolated cabin somewhere in the far northern reaches of Canada. Or you are my grandmother who still seems to think Lawrence Welk is still relevant (10 points if you know who Lawrence Welk is.) Regardless, welcome to mainstream cinematic culture. Please meet my friend, Adam Sandler. Also see: Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Time to Kick Back and Unwind…It’s Summertime!

Let’s be honest here, people. Is there anyone who doesn’t get stuck in a bit of a time warp over the summer? Suddenly, it’s Weds when you could have sworn you had another 2 days to turn in that presentation. Looking at your bank statement Monday morning finds you woefully missing 200 dollars and only the smell of your cubemate’s mint flavored gum brings you back to those 5 lost hours imbibing mojitos on the roof. So in the spirit of understanding and enjoying the outdoors (yes, I consider a potted palm tree next to a rooftop air vent “outdoors”), I hope I shall be forgiven for ignoring you, my fearless readers for the past few months. I give you now an entirely incomprehensive list of summer films I have been working on for that entire time (and certainly did not bust out just in time for Labor Day Weekend) ….

Wet Hot American Summer (2001): This is one for any hapless soul who ever had to spend their summers trapped at a camp making sure kids didn’t kill themselves while, at the same time, mostly trying to hook up with the Hot Swim Instructor. Literally everyone from Bradley Cooper to Paul Rudd and Elizabeth Banks to Christopher Meloni star as mostly distracted camp counselors at Camp Firewood. Between a talking can of soup and an innocent trip to town that goes awry, Wet Hot American Summer is the cult classic that makes you long for the smell of lake water and bug spray. Also see: Caddyshack, Meatballs, Dirty Dancing (a more serious tone but still pretty hilarious. Come on… Patrick Swazye busting out “Love is Strange”? Yes, please!)

Now and Then (1995): Ok so this one is mostly for the girls. Starring the coming-of-age-in-the-90’s trifecta of Christina Ricci, Thora Birch and Devon Sawa (swoon!) plus mom’s favorites including Demi Moore and Rosie O’Donnell, it’s another one chock-a-block of famous faces. Taking place in the summer of 1970, 4 best friends uncover a local murder mystery as they face first love, a barrage of family problems and the “power of friendship.”  Also see: Stand By Me (basically, the male equivalent), My Girl

Blue Crush (2002): Though perhaps not one of the most critically acclaimed cinematic experiences of all time, you are lying to yourself if you didn’t at least seriously contemplate picking up and moving to Hawaii. Kate Bosworth stars as a badass surf girl trying to get ready for a major surf completion while also trying to juggle the hot NFL player she’s landed – cause yea, that’s a real problem for all of us. Though perhaps not a summer movie per se, still an awesome motivator to get that bikini body in shape and hit the beach! Also see: Jaws (not exactly the same sentiment)

Heavyweights (1995): One of my absolutely all time favorites, Heavyweights is a true David and Goliath tale of overweight campers fighting for the right to bbq's, GoKarts and just some good ol’ fashioned R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Starring Ben Stiller as the tyrannical head counselor with a serious case of roid rage, get ready to feel a sudden and immediate need for an inappropriately large plate of ribs and an afternoon on “The Blob.” Also see: The Sandlot

Friday the 13^th (1980): Ok so maybe this one doesn’t quite make you long for hamburgers from the canteen or solo hiking adventures in the woods quite as much as, you know, hiding inside and steering clear of psychopathic, ax wielding mama’s boys. Still, what would the summer be without a couple of sexually provocative camp counselors being chopped to pieces? The one that started it all, Jason  gets his first big break in the classic film franchise that would go on to span approximately 1,847,305 sequels (really 11 and a tv show) and scare the living daylight out of millions of camp goers. An excellent one to show at Camp Movie Night if you want to keep the kiddies in their cabins and finally track down that Hot Swim Instructor. Also see: Sleepaway Camp (I’ve actually never seen this although I have heard it is terrifying/ hilarious. Want to see something really scary…. Watch I Know What You Did Last Summer. It terrifies me that at 1 time this was a really popular and “good” movie)